I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
