just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
