apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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