IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
