btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
