billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
