ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
