Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
