doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
