people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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