I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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