didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
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Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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