ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
