i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
