Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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