i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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