My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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