Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
