Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
