my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
