Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Randomize
