I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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