at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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