so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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