pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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