that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
