It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
