Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
