New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
