why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
