Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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