I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
are you so shy because you have an std?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
