just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
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My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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