i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
