I can text with my tongue
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
