i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Your penis caused this!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
