I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
