You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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