I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
