This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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