Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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