Jerry, you need to find god
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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