can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...