He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
