You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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