My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
