I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
