I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
