FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
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I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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