nut hugger
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
