smell my finger.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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