Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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