It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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