the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
