do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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