Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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