I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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