drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize