well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We got so high we made milksteak
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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