i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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