I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
