sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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