Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize