I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
