He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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