i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
